Back to school

I got in. At my new education. And tomorrow is the day I begin.
I am freaking out inside! What if it is a wrong study for me?
How do I swallow my pride and tell people so if it turns out to be the case?
Are my new classmates loverable? What if they aren't ?
well. I do not know. And I don't mind not knowing, for I'm sure I'll figure it out.
All of it.
Even my rather messy financial circumstances. They are beginning to fall into place. :) .

Fall is coming. Faster than I'd like it to. but I like the winter season, So I guess it's not such a bad thing. I'm glad the summer's over. Not because it was a especially bad summer. Just for the sake of getting to begin studying again. To find myself again.
To listen to my music and draw my drawings, and sleep (as always) way to little, and read all my homework for the sake of learning while watching bad TV, and get out into the clinics and practise, and just. Find myself again. And I know It souds silly. But after living through my own personal dark ages, and moving away from a place that in the end felt like it was suffacating me, I have lost grip of who I really am.
Sure, most of my dreams and thoughts and opinions are the same. but Who am I? . and How do I feel? That is questions I keep turning over in my mind. But as far as my knowlegde is , they never stop reappering. those questions.

Nevertheless, I LOOK FORWARD TO SCHOOL , TOMORROW.

Tears

So. Never thought I'd be that kind of girl . You know, the weepy one.
But here I am. Crying. I can feel all the little pieces of my heart as they are shattered.
It sucks. It hurts.
And I wish I could make it stop.